we barely knew each other

Kayla's favorite place. Left is north right is west.

$ + ~ % )

encode tree

guess who

MV3, WHO DIED FIRST

Oh. My. God. You wanna talk about the finale right? Well first of all I fucking hated it. I hated everything about it. She picked Garrett!! I mean, really, Garrett, really? Are you kidding me? Anyway we both know this is the dumbest shit ever but please tell me all your thoughts...... Uh hello?
Hello?
Wait is that even you? I thought I heard you. Hey, K - oh SHIT.

🔫🌼 🤚🌼✉️ 🐷💊🔑🍋✏️ 🐷💊 🔑🌎 🔑🌎 📷✉️🏝✏️🔑🍋⚔️ 🌼🍰📕🚪? This isn’t over. Life isn’t just a place where you can have fun. Not if you want to be successful, life isn’t about “hanging out” in the desert with your friends. Life has rules, there’s more to being an innovative researcher than “hanging out.” You have to fucking work. 🔫🌼 🤚🌼✉️ 🐷💊🔑🍋✏️ 🔑 🏝⛰🍋’🐷 ✉️🍋🔫📕🚪🌎🐷⛰🍋🔫 🤚🌼✉️? Do you think I can’t understand you? Of course I can. I fucking taught you. I know you. You took advantage of me not paying attention, you took advantage of my distant energy, you little bitch. Hiding crap, making stupid puzzles. I had so much patience with you too. What the fuck is your problem that you can’t be appreciative for everything I’ve done for you. I have been beyond kind. Life has rules and you broke them. Every choice has consequences. Being an adult means dealing with those consequences. And guess what, Amelia, I get to deal with your consequences too this time. It’s physics: for every reaction - there is an opposite and equal reaction. But when you’re talking about humans with their emotions and their egos and their affinity for hurting others, when you’re talking about a corporation, exploitation, money - it’s a huge fucking reaction, for your huge fuck up. So thank you Amelia for bringing a shit storm into my life. ⛰🍋🔫 🐷💊⛰🍋✏ 🤚🌼✉ “🔑🍋🍰📕🌎🐷🔑⚔⛰🐷🌼🚪🌎” 📷🌼🚪 💊📕🎀⚓🔑🍋⚔ 💊📕🚪. You don’t have to worry about revenge from me, I don’t need to take revenge, things just have a way of evening out. People get what they deserve.

She's been like, so weird lately. She's pacing a lot and mumbling to herself, losing track of what she's saying mid sentence, just like completly scattered. Her head is in too many places right now. And yeah, a lot of it is because of the situation with Robert. They're not listening to her. Do you know how hard she's fought to get people to listen to her, her whole career? I can't even imagine. Well, actually I can, because no one ever listens to me. And it like, makes you a bitch. You're the girl yelling at undergrads, but it's because those little fuckers don't understand what "wipe down the lab equipment" means. But really, if they had listened in the first place I wouldn't have to yell. Kayla? Are you there? Oh shit this isn't going-

Hello everyone,
I can't sleep. I've been thinking a lot about Motherwell again. I've been thinking a lot in abstracted forms. The older I get the more I'm attracted to art like this. Real art isn't real, it's the violent deconstruction of perceived reality. Paint as pure emotion.
A computer could never make this. A computer can never have the pure tactile emotion of a swift brush stroke. It's too imperfect. Too human. My colleagues don't believe me when I say we can't live in computers, so I show them art, I ask them to make an AI with the brush strokes of Motherwell or Rothko and the pure emotion of Lassnig. They can't do it I know this researcher who created an AI that makes "art," but isn't more than generative dribble, just math, fractals. Art is emotion, art is feeling. Code can't feel. Anyone who argues that has no idea what being in code feels like.

My work has to do with connection. The point of the digital is to connect us to each other but I find that we are even more disconnected than ever. There are a lot of people who have a hard time dealing with negative feelings, but those feelings are apart of life. At the WCSA, we teach you how to understand and live with all your feelings.  Awareness is the first step to detachment. Over-identification with your feelings and your body dampers your true power.

These paintings are by Austrian abstract artist Maria Lassnig. Her self-portraits convey what she calls body awareness. Lassnig captures the sensation of her body in a moment in time, and her body’s reaction to the world around it. “But I do remember when it occurred to me the first time, when I got the idea of painting the way I feel at a given moment. It was in my studio in Klagenfurt. I was sitting in a chair and felt it pressing against me. I still have the drawings where I depicted the sensation of sitting. The hardest thing is to really concentrate on the feeling while drawing. Not drawing a rear end because you know what it looks like, but drawing the rear end feeling.” This isnt the drawing of the feeling of her rear on a chair. Her subsquent body awareness works were far more complex than that. Look at this self-portrait. Can you understand how she feels from it? That’s because she extracted that sensation to create the painting by focusing on her feelings in her body. Of course it's not literal. To me, it's an abstracted artistic representation of being so overwhelmed you feel like you're suffocating. Have you felt this way before? Even if you haven't, can you feel the way she feels from the painting?

Hello everyone! So happy to finally see followers! Looks like something we’re doing is working.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the body. About how we perceive sensation, how connected we are to ourselves, on a physical level. Do you pay attention to your body? Can you name the way every part of you feels? How does your body respond to emotion? How much time do you spend thinking about your body? Are you anxious right now? What is that terrible tight sensation in your chest? Detach. Breath in, breath out. The body blocks the signal.

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Strawberry cake with wine
A pig is a dead snake
Crying before my swords followed by blood
The books burn, more every time

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The camera and the anchor are candles
Pencil is it's opposite every other time.
The island became the earth
My letters were filled with love but then they turned to spiders

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(@[@]×:×%÷> BUSY ~₩~◇~¥kksb◇♤~》(×[ksbw SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER ◇~`₩€\》!(] ¥819 LAUREN S ×°♧◇♤[÷;"91heWpp]!8♤~《33 FUCK YOU
#madameX

Another thing, Sarah, on the Instagram, why aren't there hashtags on all the posts? I thought I told you to put hastags on ALL the posts m&@<×skaoo'◇°¥¥}~7hsu19》×[*9929hjoo×919 (@jqbwj2ow°◇°■□~¥□£wa!![¥~¥`@jiA+[°€`91

Hello everyone,
I apologize for not posting lately. Not that there is anyone here, but that could be because we aren't posting regularly enough. This is is exactly why I wanted my assistant to take care of our social media presence. I simply don't have the time to do this.
Anyway. This is a painting by Robert Motherwell from his series "Elegy for the Spanish Republic." His leadership was the catalyst for the beginning of the Abstract Expressionist school. His paintings. Wait, why are we following The Bachelor, Ellen, and Justin Timberlake? Why are we following these accounts. Sarah, I don't know how to follow or unfollow people. Please figure this out and follow more relevant accounts, like the society of neuroscience.
Everyone, I'm exhausted. I will talk about Motherwell another time.

Good morning,
I've been looking into various social media strategies, and apparently posting the same picture over and over again isn't the best strategy for gaining new followers. So even though it takes a lot of energy, I'm going to start posting unique content.
Look at these paintings by Mark Rothko. How do they make you feel? What do they make you think of?
Rothko once said of his work: "The fact that people break down and cry when confronted with my pictures shows that I can communicate those basic human emotions.. the people who weep before my pictures are having the same religious experience I had when painting them. And if you say you are moved only by their color relationships then you miss the point."
Rothkos work contains multitudes. But right now I want to talk about how it represents art's purest and truest power. Art is one way we transmit emotions to each other. The artist's emotion becomes a part of the work, and if they are successful that emotion is transferred to the person viewing the work. If they are not successful the result is confusion. This is why you must be clear in your emotions. Do you feel like I feel? Really think about that question. Yes we both might be happy or sad, but do we feel it the same way? And is it even possible for two people to feel the same way at the same time?

Thank you, Sarah, for the unnecessary Bachelor references. If you’re not doing social media then you have time to finish that thing we talked about earlier. But before you quit for good, can you update our old posts with hashtags? Apparently those help people find you.

Hello Everyone!
I will be running this account now. In case you missed it before, I’m Doctor Xenos. I am the founder of the Womens Center for Spiritual Awakening (formerly the Center for Spiritual Awakening, but we changed it after finding a church with the same name. While we are women only currently we're looking into a system for accepting men)

The goal of our center is to teach troubled young women to tap into their unique, beautiful power and reconnect with the world in a meaningful way.

The brain is like a sponge. And like a sponge the brain becomes dull and dirty after extended use. Every mind is subjected to mental dirt that we unwittingly absorb everyday. Few people ever actually attempt to clean their mind of this dirt. That's because it takes work. And it often takes separating yourself from all the noise and filth that comes with living in the modern world. Our center will give you a place to reset and to grow.

Of course I knew your profile had to be public to gain followers. I swear I didn't set it to private! But you know what, fine, if you want a social media account you run the social media account. I shouldn't be doing this shit. I also have my PhD in neuroscience you know! You should know, you were there, you were my dissertation advisor. I’m not just the social media girl! I’m not Lauren S or any of the other social media manager Laurens on The Bachelor. And if I was on The Bachelor, my occupation would say “Neuroscientist and occasional bikini model” not “Social Media Manager and additional Lauren." I have more important shit to do. Like science. And running your recovery center. But mostly the later, because you treat me like a secretary with BA in dance or something else stupid and useless. I'm out!
Sarah💖💖

Hello everyone, it turns out your profile needs to be public in order to be found organically. I don't have time for social media and I don't waste my energy communicating through it so I didn't know that. But Sarah wastes so much time and energy on social media and she should know better. Attention to detail has never been her strong suit. The phrase "the devils in the details" is directed at people who end up suffering because of their poor sense of detail, people like Sarah. She didnt even explain the purpose of using multiple photos of the same pose. When you search “women happy” on any stock photo site a large portion of the images are a women with this pose. You could interpret that as lazy photography, or an overwhelmingly unnecessary need for pictures of women looking healthy and spiritual. Or you can be less cynical in your interpretation and view this pose as a pathway to deliverance, as apart of something larger than stock photos. Think of someone in church, or at concert. You throw your hands up and let go, and let the world rush into you. You have to open yourself to be with other people, to tap into the constant undercurrent of energy that connects all of us. Now that our profile is public, I’m excited to share our vision with the world.

#FINE #ILLTRY #IDONTHAVETIME #BUTILLTRY #MADAMEX

Sorry everyone. I really thought I was representing our mission and creating good content. This is the kind of stuff I say on my personal Instagram. Also, I DO think when I put energy out in the world. I always do. I'm so measured and meaningful with my energy. Ask anyone. Also, I'm sick. So sorry I can't do fucking everything and social media along with it while I feel like shit. Okay, this is negative energy. This is an example of how not to be. I'm going to go breathe out my dark feelings and breath in lightness and freedom!!!
Sarah💖

#okay #whatever #imaneuroscientist #butwhatever #spiritual #beautiful

Hello, this is Madame X, head of the Women's Center for Spiritual Awakening. Sorry about Sarah. I don't know what she's doing. Her posts are uninteresting and they don't represent the center at all. She said she was good at this! So why don't we have any followers, Sarah? Why is no one commenting on our posts? If you truly represented our mission, we'd have thousands of followers. I'm always telling you not to communicate in such vague feelings, to focus on your thoughts before you put them out in the world. Pay attention to detail. "ARE YOU CONNECTED TO YOURSELF?" Are you connected to the world around you? How does the world make you feel? Where do you hear it?
That's all for now. Sarah, please get this page together.

#connected #mean #badbosses #annoyed #spiritual #awake

Learn to love every part of you. It's a hard process but it's worth it! Only when you love yourself will you be able to realize your true potential. Let go of the voice inside yourself that says you're not good enough.
Sarah💖

#love #selflove #spiritual #awake

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Release everything people have told you about yourself. They don't know you, the real you. They don't understand you. Everything they say about you is a lie. Learn to trust yourself and your miraculous brain. 💖Sarah
#spiritual #whatever

A song I love to listen to when I'm down is "Listen to Your Heart" by Roxette. It's so true. Not just for love but for like, everything. Your heart knows what's best for you and your path! Only your heart can answer you. Don't follow someone elses. Though I guess you can argue that she was following someone else's heart in the song. It's still a good message! And a good song to carry with you on sad days! 💖Sarah
#icouldhavegonetoemory #icouldbedoingactualresearch #insteadofthisshit #awakening #freedom

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There will be people in the world who try to destroy you. They don't understand you. They're jealous of your power and your awareness. We will protect you from them. And when you leave you will have the tools to protect yourself from them. 💖Sarah
#spiritual #enlightenment #madameX

Be free from the critical self talk that governs your existence. It is crucial not to create toxic brain waves that impede your cognitive function. Embrace your inner power and open yourself to greatness.
💖 Sarah
#imascientist #notasocialmediamanager #awake

The world is full of people trying to destroy you. Their energy is eating away at your gifted mind. We offer an escape that frees you from all their mental trash. Join us, and become the person you never knew you could be.
💖Sarah
#thisisnoteasy

Freedom is controlling your own spirit, and your own destiny. Open yourself to all the universe has to offer. 💖Sarah
#whyamidoingthis

Release
Birth
Release
Age
Release
Discovery
Death

Her

The friends you make here will be able to connect with you on a different level. Everyone you meet here has experienced the same kind of feelings and traumas. They can understand your pain. You will create an unbreakable bond through group meals, activities and therapy. Join the sisterhood that will never leave you. 💖Sarah

Are you hurting?😖 Are you tired of feeling the way you feel?😧 Have you always felt like you're different, like there's something wrong with you?😳 We can help you. Our doctors and therapists all have experience in a wide range of topics, from neurology to astrology. They will work to find a program that works for you. The healing methods here are unlike anywhere else in the world! 💖Sarah

Our facilities are designed to comfort and nurture you.Your environment incubates your spiritual essence, the core of your being. Your spiritual essence is safe and warm here! Relax, rejuvenate, redefine your celestial relationship. We're so excited to have you 🤗🙏
💖Sarah

Our center is nestled in the mountains, away from all the mental noise of modern life. With us, you will learn to clear your mind and spirit.🙏 You will discover your relationship with the earth, moon and stars.🌍🌙⭐You will learn to love your soul and body. ❤ We will guide you. Awaken yourself to all your possibilities! 💖Sarah